This is me....

     ....So how do you know if you're on the brink of a complete nervous breakdown?  I mean with everything going on with Mike....all he crap at work (the usual) and  piling trouble with finances and trying to pay the most basic of monthly payments...I feel totally buried.  And there is no life ropes or buoys or hands waiting for me at the top.  Hell, I don't even think there is a top anymore.  I'm not suicidal...that's not even an option, but at this point I don't even know what to do.  I just wanna throw up my hands and what will be will be I guess.  But I also know that won't get anything paid.   You now when people say they "are sick and tired of being sick and tired" ...I feel that in my soul right now.  Mike keeps saying not to worry and he'll let me know when to worry, but when you have to have your son pay the mortgage so you can pay all the other monthly bills....wouldn't that be something to worry about?  He...

     Well, since therapy is to expensive...here I am.  And boy do I need therapy or at the very least a place to vent.  Maybe this will help or maybe this will be my only post and I'll never be back.  Who knows to be honest.  Let's be honest...this will be a rambling mess and probably never make sense.        Maybe this first thing I should mention is that mu husband was dx'd with stage 4 colon cancer like 6mths ago.  It is also in his liver and lymph nodes.  The chemo treatments haven't been so bad on him.  Surely not like we thought it would be.  He was nauseous the first few treatments, but seemed to handle the rest like a champ.  I guss what's the hardest is that he could be around for another few yrs or like cancer horror stories it could be a sudden thing in a few months.        I can't tell you how many times I try to plan for the unknown and get to packing only to get ma...